~ Picture of you ~

picture of us

2012-02-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

its gonna be soon.

its never enough

2012-01-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

i want to dye my hair but i have no idea what colour.

If you ask me, you never left.

2011-12-25T16:06:00.000+08:00

Always your on my mind.

something that i really needed.

Merry Christmas.

if you leave me tonight.

2011-12-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

Do you share the pain inside?
Do you know how much it bites?
Do you mind to watch me fall?
Do you care for me at all?

But if you leave my world tomorrow
And if you leave me cold tonight
Do you really want to see me cry?
I'm gonna live my life in sorrow
And you'll forever see me cry

Dear JJ,

i know its been awhile since i last saw you. do you know how much it hurts to not see you like how i use to see you everyday. i know you said that you liked your freedom but i just don't know how you can leave every day without even feeling tired. i miss the old you when i had you to myself. but only i learn that what was before was a lie, because back then you had to lie to me multiple times just so that you could go out. but as months passes things changes and here we are you are telling me the truth the whole entire time.

i guess one thing that i have learn from this pass months with you is that, the things that is a lie is what i love to hear, but the truth always hurts the most. i hate that you are out till late, i hate that they are other girls even though they are your friends girlfriend. i hate that you are able to see your friends because they get to see you but i don't. call me clingy crazy girlfriend/whore/slut/protective/controlling bitch, but this is just who i am and i know i have to make it clear to you that i will try to change that.

i have to change my attitude in order that we could be together again. i hate knowing the truth about myself, i hated to hear what came out from your mouth, i hated the fact that you knew so much about myself and that made me realise so much how was a person i was before i mat you and after how much i've changed. i thought all this while what i was doing i was doing the right thing as a girlfriend for you. but it only turns out that its only for the worst for our relationship.

if i hadn't had mat you, i would be probably falling out of love easily. because of you, i have realise so many things before my eyes. i cannot act immature anymore. i am already 20 years old and i have to change my shit and get myself together or i will lose everything that i have including you.

i love you so much that it consume me jj.

i am sorry for all the things that i did to you.

I pray that whatever happen next,

that both of us will always be happy and blessed in

everything that we do.

this what kills me.

it just keep going on

2011-12-22T11:46:00.001+08:00

this is it.

Enrique Iglesias - Somebody's Me

2011-12-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

no more

2011-12-14T16:42:00.000+08:00

i wanna cut my hair like this can ka?

like would it look suitable for me? ahaha!

let me know!

a pic worth a thousand words.

2011-12-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

thank you daddy (:

i love you.

just for today

2011-12-01T11:39:00.000+08:00

I DIE TODAY

what are we now.

2011-11-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

this feels like just yesterday i knew you.

and all of my doubts suddenly vanished.

i have died waiting for you to come along.

we made full of promises when we first mat.

i have always wanted you to myself,

i have always wanting you to be with me,

i have always loved you and never will stop.

How can i love you when i am afraid, what are we now? do i mean anything to you anymore? where was the feeling of being excited when you are about to see me? where were the butterflies when you see me? do you still believe in us? you don't know what i feel now. You don't know what you mean to me now. you just don't know anything about me now. i feel so far away from you, i just don' know how to handle my heart anymore. its breaking into pieces each time when we are apart. i wonder what are you thinking now.

i never stop loving you.

you've change to the person that i never knew

2011-11-25T15:41:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to do anymore.

maybe

2011-11-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna be the one to say, "Goodbye" but I will

I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly but I will Oh

yes i will.

I don't wanna be the first to let it go
Oh
But I know
I know
I know if you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I've got to let them go.

Cause maybe in the future you're gonna come back
You're gonna come back around
Maybe in the future you're gonna come back
You're gonna come back to me.

i don't know what to do anymore.

i am so confused wanna ask you if you love me

but i don't want to seem to weak.

I let it fall, my heart,
And as it fell you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say
They were never true, never true,
And the games you play
You would always win, always win.

things were hard.

2011-11-17T20:01:00.002+08:00

Things were much simple with you.

fart

2011-11-08T12:58:00.000+08:00

i want a house like this (:

love.

take me away from here

2011-11-04T12:52:00.000+08:00

we fight, we argue.

we love, we hold hands.

we kiss, we hug.

it's been almost a year now with you.

you showed me so many different things in life.

you had proven me wrong from time to time again.

each time i am the one who is finding fault and making you so crazy

you still come and find me.

i am so blessed to have you around me.

when i am lazy, you help me to do my assignments.

when i need someone to send me to everywhere i go,

no doubt you will always be the first person to send me.

each time when we argue you will never let it last long.

call me crazy or yuck

but i have never had a friend, best friend and a boyfriend who i really

can trust and love.

there are just times that i really want to scream at you for being crazy

and there is so many times that i want to end it but i know

deep down in my heart i know its never over. its never now.

i love you so much clarence.

i don't ever want anyone else to have you.

i am sorry for all the fights and drama that i cost you.

i love you more than i love myself.

ahaa! -.-''

im backkk!

2011-11-01T17:34:00.000+08:00

sorry i had been missing!

been busy and now i have to go! :(

Take care everyone!

will be blogging soon!

yesterday was the time of our lives

2011-10-16T18:05:00.000+08:00

I had always been complaining about this and that or whatever is never enough for me. i had always been worried about that and stress about that. For whatever reason i am constantly thinking a lot. Just like what Russell Peters said in his joke. sometimes it really bothers me why am i never enough? why am i complaining? why can't i just take life easy?

there is so many things that had bothers my mind lately and guess what? i let it go (: i let it go, just enough to make me feel so much better and not even complaining. i let it go because i felt it was much easier to breath. i let it go just because i want to be happy. and guess what? i am soo much happier than before and better than yesterday, i may seem that i am complaining but it only takes a while for me to let it go.

Happy Sunday!

we lost it.

2011-10-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

i guess this is just one of the days that we have to let it go.

baby, i know it's been so long i never talked about you.

i never forgotten about you,

its just that if i were to talk about you the pages would be really long and

i will never stop.

because each time when i am with you there is so many things that i learn from you.

each and every day there is always something new about you.

i look forward everyday to be with you.

your birthday is coming up soon.

i love you baby.

i knew it all along

2011-10-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

what we had, has already been thrown away.

i heard that your dreams true

2011-09-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

babies are so cute,

i can't wait to get my own baby. *who I'm kidding!*

cause i know it

2011-09-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

i just know it.

each time

2011-09-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn’t stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren’t having any of those.

i just don't understand how some people can just admire you for one second and the next thing you know, they are talking bad about you.

i just don't understand how some people can hug you and kiss you good bye before they leave and yet act like nothing happen when deep down you know that is going to be the last time you are going to meet them.

i just don't understand why can't they understand me instead of me always going to them and explaining everything. why can't it be once my turn?

i just wonder what it feels like to know that special someone is looking for you.

i just wonder what it feels like to know always wanted.

i just wonder what it feels like to know that special someone is thinking of calling me.

i just don't know what to do anymore.

i just don't know what to say.

i am so lost and out of words.

whatever i do is always wrong in your eyes

2011-09-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

Im over it. Everything. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like me. I’m just me. And if they have a problem with that, then there’s not much that I can do. I’m over caring for people who don’t care for me. I’m realizing who matters and who doesn’t. The only people I need in my life are those who need me. Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting new people and I want to meet more new people. I’m sick of most of the people around here. I’m just going to be more careful about who I let inside and trust. Because I certainly can’t trust everyone.

No one has the right to tell you who you are and control your life, cause it’s your life. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our options on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in a life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes, why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. It’s past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It’s only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

You don’t let people in. It’s hard for you, and once you do, you don’t want to let them go. And when they screw up, you’re like why did you do that to me? I gave you my feelings I did everything for you, and you screwed me over.

Are you happy now?

someone like you

2011-09-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

There's so many things had happen in this few days. so many things that came back to my memory. i always pounder and think " Like what If " this or that never happen or what was was the day like. i can never forget what was the day like, i never liked that feeling.

don't ever come to me in a empty hand

2011-09-07T21:34:00.000+08:00

We spend half our life sleeping, but we spend our whole life waiting. Waiting in lines, waiting for times, waiting to be old enough, waiting for a call. We’re always waiting. We just don’t always realize it. Waiting for someone to say something, waiting for them to notice you. Constantly waiting for that one person, and they have no idea you’re waiting for them.

i choose to never believe you anymore daddy,

you lied to me too many times for me to bare the pain.

i just give up on you.

never ever promise me if you can never make it

2011-09-06T22:59:00.000+08:00

FUCK YOU

this bitch wanna talk

2011-09-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

she thinks what she does is right.

she think what she kisses is right.

she think what she had is right.

oh please.

your wasting your life here.

i wish i never knew you.

i wish i never talked to you.

i wish YOU WERE NEVER IN MY LIFE.

Wang lee hom

2011-09-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

Because of you i knew this man, this man that sings so sweetly in my ear.

i pray that you are doing alright :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pSdRZyYGBE&ob=av2e

Go and listen to this song! its much loved! <3

we have been in so many fight and here we are stronger than ever. thank you so much for being my hero when i really needed to use my slipper when my flats was killing me. thank you for everything Clarence :) hahaa! i love you babu.

take me away from here and use me to make me happy.

~~slut.~~

cause your my everything

2011-09-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

I think the most painful things in life are caused by the unknown problems. Ya know? It’s not like your boyfriend breaking up with you, because you know to heal your broken heart, you have to try to move on from him. But if you don’t really have a reason for why you cry yourself to sleep at night because you’re not sure what’s causing your tears … well, how do you heal from that? Where do you start?

I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I might never talk to you again and I won’t feel the same about anyone the way I feel when I’m with you. I’m afraid that you’ll find someone else and feel different for some other girl, and I’ll just be an old school memory

Ever wish you could just get into his head to see what he thinks of you, to see how he thinks of you, how much he thinks of you, or if he thinks of you at all?

Life isn’t about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all. It’s not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have. Most of all, it is about living your life to touch someone else’s.

French girl

2011-08-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted a French manicure and today is the day i got it! i am so excited and i just can't explain how happy i am today! thank you babu! thank you so much, you told me i can always have this manicure! :D hahaa! are you sure?? lol. i love you babu!

Other than that, i also went shopping! i got a top and a skirt and the same time! can't explain how happy i am todayy! i use to complain about everything but i have came to realise that life is really short and you might never know when are you going to leave. so this is why i had to do what i did! :D

i want this Condom so badly. maybe give it to me as a Christmas present? no?

ahahaa! no matter what you do always be safe! ahahahaaa! :p

cheers!

up to you

2011-08-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

i miss going clubbing and getting drunk like there is no tomorrow.

Nothing that you know about

2011-08-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

This is life. People will screw you over. You’ll fight with your family. You’ll witness things that will change you forever. You’ll blame new lovers for things old lovers did. You’ll lose best friends you thought would always be there. You’ll come to realize that everyone has a past. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh and you’ll embarrass yourself. But then you’ll find your very own moment where none of that matters; where you can sit back and realize that shit happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you, including yourself.

Sometimes we lie because it’s easier than telling the truth. Sometimes we lie because we need to forget. Sometimes we lie because you don’t want to tell her she looks fat in those jeans. Sometimes we lie because fantasy is better than reality. Sometimes we lie because it’s too painful to tell the truth. Sometimes we lie because we think it’s the truth. Sometimes we lie because it’s faster to do so. Sometimes we lie because you need to get out of something. Sometimes we lie because life can’t wait. Sometimes we lie because pain is not an option. Sometimes we lie because there is nothing better to do. Sometimes we lie because we need to turn attention away from ourselves. Sometimes we lie because we don’t know what else to do. Sometimes we lie because we don’t want to tell children there isn’t a Santa Claus. Sometimes we lie because it gives us a laugh. Sometimes we lie because sarcasm gives emphasis. Sometimes we lie because we need to prove a point. Sometimes we lie because everyone needs a break once in a while. Sometimes we lie because an alibi is needed. Sometimes we lie because a surprise is being planned. Sometimes we lie because we could lose money. Sometimes we lie because we want to keep a friend. Sometimes we lie because we are instructed to. Sometimes we lie because money is offered. Sometimes we lie because revenge is sweet. Sometimes we lie because we would like to hurt someone emotionally. Sometimes we lie because agreeing is easier than debating. Sometimes we lie because we are scared. And rarely do we ever tell the truth.

I've come to learn that everyday we live is a blessing,

some people are dying and here we are complaining.

all we do is complain about everything.

life is short take it easy :)

no more i love you

2011-08-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

i really thought we were the "One"

I used to be lunatic from the gracious days
I used to be woebegone and so restless nights
My aching heart would bleed for you to see
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
(The lover speaks about the monsters)
I used to have demons in my room at night
Desire,despair,desire,so many monsters
Oh but now...
(I don't find myself bouncing round whistling
and fortunes to make me cry)

No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word

They were being really crazy
They were on the come.
And you know what mammy?
Everybody was being really crazy.
Uh huh.
The monsters are crazy.
There are monsters outsides.

words just can't describe the way i am feeling but who am i to disagree?

who am i to stop you if this is what you want.

who am i to tell you what to do.

i guess i need to move on and be a grown up girl now. i just can't take this anymore.

suitcase.

2011-08-20T18:47:00.000+08:00

What happened to us?

I still remember every single time you told me ‘Don’t worry, we’ll always be best friends no matter what happens ’ now look at us. We haven’t talked for months, and every time I make an effort and try to be a good friend you just blow me off and act like your too cool for me. We’ve been best friends since high school and now we’re strangers. It’s only been the first year of getting better and look at what it did to us, it turned us against each other so fast it’s almost impossible to believe. We’ve been through so much together, I just don’t understand how a few mistakes could send our friendship crashing down like that. It’s really killing me and I know it’s killing you to, I just wish I had the guts to say all this to you. Ugh you know everything about me you’re the one and only person I’ve ever been able to open up to and talk to about my feelings and now you’re gone. I have no one anymore, but you have so many different girls that you replaced me with. I know we both fucked up a lot and I’m truly sorry for everything I’ve ever done to hurt you, I just want you to be there for me again.

I really miss you.

everything is running through my head

2011-08-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

your so afraid of taking chances.

2011-08-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

days pass by really quickly,

before you know its already the weekend.

i wonder

every time you play a song does it remind you of me?

i wonder

each time when you go out alone does the shop remind you of me?

i wonder

every time i walk pass do you miss me?

i want to be able to party hard tomorrow and live

like there is no tomorrow.

i really miss those days when i was just really crazy,

its been so long i haven't been crazy enough with my wife.

i can't wait till tomorrow.

and when i do go, dont be jealous ;)

ahaa!

have a good day!

angry frustrated just edgy...

2011-08-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

There is so much anger in me you have no fcuking idea how crazy i can snap today!

another whole day

2011-08-14T23:50:00.000+08:00

thank you so much yen :)

you gave me hope again.

emo nemo

2011-08-12T20:59:00.000+08:00

how i wished i knew what was the plan for my future and i want to know what it is like not to be a failure. i am so tired of wasting my parents money and just not do anything good enough for them. i really feel bad for wasting their money and i don't know if i could make it for the re-sit paper this coming tuesday. how i wish i was this multi millionaire that don't have to worry about anything.

i pray that everything will be alright and not just come to waste.

just like that i will fade...

days

2011-08-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

you told me that you were my personal " Guardian Angel "

but clearly,

you had forgotten about " Us "

but i thank you for the things that you did, i will never forget you.

but once your out of my life your forever out of my sight

and i wouldn't know you anymore.

i have to.

You take care of yourself and don't be always depress :)

why do i feel like i can't trust anyone?

2011-08-01T21:28:00.000+08:00

why do i feel like i can't trust anyone of you now?

up the sky

2011-07-30T15:57:00.000+08:00

To get up in the morning and know you have to face another obstacle, takes determination. To smile when the only thing you want to do is cry, takes strength. To act happy when it’s the worst, takes courage. To be joyful when the only good news is the best of the worst, takes support. To be there and help people through the roughest times takes love.

I wish I was a little kid again. I want someone to take care of me; I want someone to clean up my messes and remind me what’s right from wrong. I want to be awed at, even if what I’m doing isn’t cute. I want to be yelled at before I make the same mistakes again and I want to be held in someone’s arms while I cry my heart out.

I guess what makes me different from most girls is that I’m not the type to squeal all over you and I don’t ask for your attention at all times. I know what I want and I know how to get it but I don’t hurt people along the way. I can be a bitch but I’m also a weird obnoxious loser, but hey, that’s the truth in me. I guess you can say I’m complicated but I’d rather be difficult than easy anyday. I can be hard to figure out at times but if you know me, I’m not that much of a confusing person. So why don’t you actually open up your heart instead of just your eyes and take a look at me, then tell me that you love me.

Hey,

i may not know who are you but i hate that you are going around me telling every single person how i treat my boyfriend, its up to me how i want to talk to him or treat him or whatever it is. this is my choice and i am already like this, the past relationship just made me somebody who is more secure and more self pity of myself because of what happen to the last one. you have no idea how i was or how i am during the break up so don't go around telling others what you know or what you see directly because i have my own reason on why i am behaving this way. if my boyfriend can take me for who i am so what the fuck are you doing talking bad about me?

it destroy me for what you had done but in the end i couldn't be bother to what is happening. so what if at times i pull my boyfriend's hair? so what if at times i shout or yell at him in public? have you ever thought how he had treated me? we both have our own fault and no one is fucking perfect. so just enough of this alright? i am tired and i don't want to get through this anymore.

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small, like when you do a bad thing for a good reason. Some are bigger, like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret because we’re looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our ways, but our biggest regrets are not for the things we did, but for the things we didn’t do, things we didn’t say that could have saved someone we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that’s headed their way.

~~just fuck off bitch and stop talking about shit about me.~~

~~i have my own problem to handle nt yours.~~

there is just times like this..

2011-07-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

There are times like this when i just want to sit back and cry for no reason.
There are times like this when i just want to go to the beach and get tan.
There are times like this when i just want to be really close to you.
There are times like this when i just want to shout at everyone because the world is just fcuked up.

what have i done?

2011-07-16T12:51:00.000+08:00

i really don't know what i did wrong. how i wished i was like Adrian, i want to follow him home i really can't stand being like this anymore. it sucks to know that everyday i am walking up to a lie. i can't stand being like this anymore. in the first place you had never understand me so don't start making conclusion about what is going on. i really don't like being in this house. i really don't want this anymore. i wonder if God think 2 or 4895357 times before he brought me here. i really don't know what is the point of me staying here in this family when everything seems to be my fault. you tell me that i have a bad heart then why in fcuk did you wanted to ADOPT me! asshole bitch! i never once needed anything from you when i was young. you were the one who wanted me! i never wanted you! if you knew so that having a child is so much then don't have one! okay! you said that i have hurt you! don't worry i will be leaving this house soon enough and you will never get to see me ever again! so you don't stop me when i am leaving. i promise i will make your life 100000 times better then what you are now.

you have never understand me! you never talk to me one on one?! so how the fuck am i suppose to tell you how i really feel? you only think about yourself! you never thought about how i felt?!?!?!?!?! omg! i can really just kill myself and no one would know! i really can't take this anymore! i am loosing my mind and i hate this! i really do! i hate being here! i hate myself for being born! i really do! i really don't know what i did to deserve to be here!

Father,

i know i have sin against you but i am really sorry. i really just don't understand life. i really don't.

Don't worry, i will be gone much sooner than you expected.

Adrian

2011-07-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

Adrian,
i may not know you that well, but i have known you enough to know that you are really nice to others and as well as me. when no one bothered to talk to me you were there to company me and make me laugh at you. we only knew each other this year and i never thought that this is the last time i am ever going to talk to you or even get to know you even better. i want to say thank you for being there for me when i needed some one to teman me when we were at sungai wang. thank you for bringing me around and telling me stories when you saw me bored waiting for you guys. you had gone to soon adrian. tinggang and i will deeply miss you and forever we will remember you and all the memories we had i will cherish them :)

R.I.P Adrian. we love you, but God loves you more. i will see you soon.

tears

2011-07-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today, this evening went to meet up with Chris. one of my "Hot Mama" its been a year since i last saw her. There was even Jun, Mandy, Phoebe and Esther. we were just simply talking and pouring our hearts out from all of our problems. i miss today, i really do. i miss talking to chris about anything and knowing what she will say next. i miss the way she talk to me and the way she smiles at me and especially her warm hug. i miss everything.

then something hit me when i was on the way home, something that left me to wonder, will today will be the last time i am going to spend my time with them. They are almost gradated and here i am still here not knowing what's it like after this. i still haven't thought about that until today. i really am going to miss this friendship that i have and since they are about to leave. i feel really sad. how i wish i could follow them and stay the way it is. i hope things will never change and we will be friends till our last breath. thank you for showing me wonderful life through out this years that i have with all of you. i really love this.

thank you.

crash the wedding

2011-07-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

i should face this rather than running away. i am so excited for friday. i want to dance like there is no tomorrow. i can't wait till my new blackberry torch to be ready for me to use. i want to shop like there is no tomorrow with my wife and never stop going crazy before this finals are coming soon to hunt me again and all the stress level will worked out.

one of my wife's favourite drink :)

cheers!

we just change

2011-07-01T19:31:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt like during the first month of your relationship you just seem to see everything so perfect and its always beautiful the way its suppose to be. after a while it just fade away and slowly all the conversation has just got lost and there is always a moment when you are just in the car with your love ones and not saying anything? but before this, you can just talk about anything and everything that you want, but now its just really different.

have you?

sometimes i wish i knew how to handle myself from noticing all of this. just today. something really hit me soo hard in my mind when i was cooking and after all the work i did was just a smile and a thank you. this just reminded me of myself when i was cooking for someone like you as well and the response was different. i really don't know what to do or think. i just feel really helpless. i guess its true what people say, after they get what they want. eventually your just another person to them and that you are nothing.

i don't know. there is so many things in my head now. tell me if i am wrong.

maybe we shouldn't see each other for awhile.

maybe i'm wrong.

a year ago

2011-06-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

this is gay

Foster the people = awesome shit!

2011-06-27T20:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes how i wish i knew who were the fake ones and that who really care for me. sometimes i wonder what we have is true or fake or am i just another one for you to call at night? sometimes i wonder after all the years of our friendship is it really true that everything will be alright? yes i think to much. but this is just who i am. sometimes i feel like crying for no reason and at times i really feel like punching you in the face and i want to see blood all over you. sometimes i just want to give you a hug and never let go. there is so many things going on in my head now and i really dont know what i want. last time you use to read my blog but now you dont. as if i am just another girl for you.

i just don't know why does Monday has to be a bad day for us. its always Monday that we always argue or fight. i don't know what to do anymore. you said its not my fault and you ask me to let it go. well how could i not think that it is my fault when you keep blaming me for what is happening around us. so what will that make me feel? maybe i am just a loser for this love thing or whatever it is i totally FAIL.

hello again :)

2011-06-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

Hello everyonee!!! sooo sorry about not posting lately. i had been busy and crying. lol. all about assignment! its been really crazy for me and i feel like giving up at times but i have so many people that are supporting me :) thank you Clarence and my bitch :) i guess without them i wouldn't be able to survive until now and have all the encouragement from them.

well last night, i had the night of my life and it was really awesome! :)

i went clubbing.

i would really love to write more.

but i am soo tired.

my legs are killing me and i promise i will be back real soon!

what is this?

2011-06-20T20:18:00.000+08:00

i don't know anymore.

Twitter!

2011-06-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

i am so new in twitter!
this is fun and i am really sakai! :)
Pls add me and follow me!
*Penilonsalove* go follow me and add me! =D
You will make me a happy child! :)

My assignment are so delay and beyond time :(

damn. epic pail :(

i better get going now.

assignment all the way

2011-06-19T01:50:00.000+08:00

I have assignment due this Thursday and Friday, then a week later will be on Tuesday and presentation and back to Friday is my presentation day. oh wow. i will storm out dying.

my finals are next month and i am not doing anything about it. i am freaking out. i am worried. i am scared. but still here i am playing around -.-' oh gosh. life.

we're all so fake and desperate. Blurting out “I love you’s” after three days. Kissing before we understand what’s happening. making out before we know what we mean to each other. But in the middle of all that, I know we want this more than anything.

i should be probably doing my assignment.

and here i am.

16.06.11

2011-06-16T21:26:00.000+08:00

i'm the type of girl who will fall for a guy she barely knows. Who will listen to a love song and see his face. Who will look for him wherever she goes. I’m the type of girl who doesn’t get over things easily. Who will beat herself up when someone doesn’t love her back. Who will cry herself to sleep cause she feels she’s not good enough. But I’m also the type of girl who’s strong. Who can cry her eyes out, then forbid them to come back the next morning. Who will blast some old pop and sing at the top of her lungs because she feels like it. Who will be no one but herself.

You walk down your packed hallways everyday. You pass hundreds of people you have never talked to, ex best friends & boy friends. You pass the people that hate you & most importantly love you to death. If you could just freeze everyone & finally slow down time to look around. Do you finally notice the kids that have never had an equal chance? What about the beautiful popular girls that get all the boys, are they truly happy or is it all an act? And then look at yourself. Are you happy with who you are becoming or has high school turned you into someone you promised you would never be? Take a good look at your reflection before you judge anyone else; be the person you want to. Fuck what everyone else tells you, just be who you are.

When a guy breaks up with a girl and she begins to cry, it’s not because she’s crying for the guy, not because she’s upset. She’s crying because she’s wondering what she did wrong, as if she wasn’t good enough, she’s crying because she’s going to miss the memories of being with him. She’s crying with what’s left of her heart.

I am not the kind of girl that gets to go out till late morning.

I am not the kind of girl that sings so beautifully.

I am not the kind of girl that gets to shops and buy expansive things on the spot.

I may not all be perfect but i am doing all my best for you.

HPI Racing Nitro rs4 Rtr = selling.

2011-06-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

hello everyone =)

see i am giving all of you a happy face.

well i am here to let you guys know that my boyfriend is selling his HPI Racing Nitro rs4 Rtr.

the price still can be adjustable.

inbox me in the comment below and i will get back to

ASAP!

i promise! :)

P.s: i don't want false buyers.

many things

2011-06-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

There is so many things in my mind. there are things that i can't explain but i wished i had the answer to all my questions. things has been falling in and out and many things had happen to me these few weeks. i never write about it anymore because i find myself in the place where i was in 2 years ago, i don't know who is real or who is good to me anymore. i don't know if they are friends with me just because i was "There" for you whenever

you needed me.

am i just some kind of a person where you just call and know that i will be there for

you?

i really plan not to stay here anymore.

i really want to go off with my best friend and work in new york.

i just don't want this anymore.

you fucking cunt!

2011-06-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

you fucking cunt! get out of kuching immediately!

dreams to remember

2011-06-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

i don't understand how you can smile all day long, but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change, but the people in them do. How you can love so innocently, but it can turn into anger so quickly. How your best friend can become your worst enemy. Or when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know letting go of something is best for you, it hurts just the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much time to spare. How people make promises, and bear their souls to someone despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives ‘cause it’s just easier then working things out.

there at times i do still think about you.

i wonder what are you thinking about.

i wonder when you to shops and the places that we've been to,

do you even stop to wonder that's the place that we use to go?

there is so many things that you just don't understand about me yet.

if you knew, you would have already left.

and that's what you did.

pre post pone

2011-06-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

i had totally forgotten all about my birthday. i totally forgotten what was the day all about.

i just totally forgotten YOU.

you told me

2011-05-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

It just makes perfect sense to me

i miss you.

2011-05-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

Girls aren’t going to talk to you first. It’s a girl thing. We don’t like starting the conversation because we like to feel like you want to talk to us. We like to feel like the wait was worth something. We like feeling like you’ve waited for us like we’ve waited for you. But the number one reason we hate talking first is because we hate to seem needy or clingy. That’s why we’re scared. Cause to us, being needy and obsessive just pushes guys away. And no girl wants that.

Tell me what to do.

so much hatred.

2011-05-28T03:58:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i am ever a loving person.

or am i just this person which i do not even exist.

i just don't know how to explain to a person a rapidly and not understanding a word i say and doesn't even care about me.

i guess I've grown into this evil loveable person and have totally have no sense of words.

i guess i am just so tired of everyone telling me what i should do or be. i have hurt the ones that i loved and cared most in my life and i guess tonight is the night where the same history repeat itself and i might just loose my mind from all of these things that is happening around me.

i blame myself for letting these people hurt me.

i blame myself for letting these people care about me.

i blame myself for letting these people to love me.

i have grown into this person that is really an attention seeker and i guess it went overboard. i have failed to love a person over and over again and i really don't know what makes me a women. i have tried to promise myself i would start over again but i guess it doesn't work this way. it just comes back and there is no way i could turn back. if i had a choice i would rather be alone now then be with anyone else in this moment because i find myself hurting people that are around me and i just don't understand why did i do what i did just now? was it out of anger or was it out of disbelieving? if i had an answer to that i will be so much understanding now.

i am just so tired of making people cry because of me and things just gets worst each and every day. i feel really lost. is it really my fault that i am behaving this way? does he really deserve this treatment that i am giving him? or is this a punishment for him or me? am i that bad until all of your friends say i am so? if this are what people are telling around you. then i am really happy to let you go. i am sorry that i can't be that perfect lil girl that respect you for who you are, i am sorry i am not as nice as other girls you see on the streets, i am sorry for not being there for all the times you need me, lastly i am sorry for calling you "Annoying". i just can't be the centre of attention where all your friends say i am destroying you and asking you why would you want to be with me.

Fine. i am so over this. i am done. i am so tired of all this bullshit. Just Let Me Go.

baby gurl

2011-05-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. it’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

I'll you what the end of the world will be like. It will be a final moment; both terrible and heartbreaking. Absolute chaos. People running as fast as they ever have, cars filling every road and freeway, phone lines backed up trying to process millions of calls, fingers flying over keyboards, thumbs texting like rapid fire, long lines of people trying to cram themselves into subways and airplanes. All of them trying to tell someone else, ‘I love you.’

You want her to love you? Leave her. She’ll realize she loves you in a heartbeat. Because truth is, everyone realizes what they’ve got when it’s gone. It’s the biggest cliché ever, but it really is true. You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. And maybe us girls should realize we love you earlier, but we don’t know how much we appreciate you until you’re not there anymore.

sometimes i really don't know what does this mean? i really don't know. tell me.

A long time ago.

2011-05-25T22:54:00.001+08:00

As i sit here and compare the way you were before us and after us, I can’t help but think I’m the reason for your change for the worse. I don’t understand what happened. It’s like you woke up one day and told yourself, “Hey, today is the day I’m going to become a total tool and break up with my girlfriend since today is the first day I’ve been able to talk to her in a week. Then, I’m going to try to date five other girls in the first couple weeks after we’ve broken up. I’ll act like I’m tough, even though I’m a little girl when it comes to dealing with spiders. Dark and depressing music will fill my life, and I’ll stop going to church. Man, am I going to be cool.” Get real. Do you see the monster you’ve become? Do you understand how unbearable it is for me to see you like this? You told me once you hate guys that are players. So tell me, how’s it feel to hate yourself.

Some things that were on my mind.

Gonna post this to my dear Yen :)

i love you Yen aka Jenn XD
thanks for being there with me.

i look back on us today, and I honestly don’t know why I missed you, and why I wanted you back. Sure, at the beginning we were kids rushing into things we had no idea what about, but slowly, instead of trusting you more, I trusted you less, and the more I loved you, the less I loved myself. But now I’m free, and I’m not sorry. I had to get out. I knew it was over long before you said it. And I thought you broke my heart, but you merely made it stronger, made it resilient. Of course I’ll never forget you, but there’s no way I’m ever going back. So goodbye, my first love. Thank you for being such a fabulous waste of time.

Forget you

2011-05-25T02:17:00.001+08:00

Forget the guy that doesn’t care for you, the guy that cheats on you, uses you for sex and denies it. The guy that abandons you for his friends and the guy that dumped you because he ‘was sick of it’. Forget the guy that puts you last and the guy that calls you when it’s convenient for him. Forget the guy that calls you cute and pretty, instead of beautiful. Forget the guy that puts you down, that isn’t proud of you, that competes with you. Forget the guy that won’t take no for an answer, and the guy that makes you cry yourself to sleep. Forget the guy that gets with other girls, that hurts you ‘unintentionally’, yet does it time and time again. Forget the guy that calls you begging for forgiveness, he isn’t worth it. Forget the guy that you can’t trust, forget the guy that has made months of your life miserable. Forget the guy that you had to listen to complain about other girls when you were in love with him. Forget the guy that ruined your other relationships. Forget the guy that makes you wait for him. Forget the guy that ‘doesn’t want a relationship’ when you know he just doesn’t want you. Forget the guy that thinks of someone else while you’re thinking of him. Forget the guy that lies every day. Forget the guy that doesn’t know how to love you. Forget the guy you can’t forgive. Forget the guy that made it clear he could forget about you.

Enough said.

u should have known from the first start

2011-05-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

this coming Tuesday is my mid terms exams.

i don't even know what i want now.

i am so confused with everything that is going on with my life.

i am really writing nonsense which i dont even know.

okay.

i got to stop writing and wondering off my mind...

.....

....

still thinking....

there's so much anger in me right now

and i don't even know what i am angry about.

kthxbai.

for wasting your time for reading this.

such a liar

2011-05-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

what have i done till you have done what you did?

what did i ever do to you till you have suck all of my soul?

why?

what are you thinking about?

2011-05-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

if only i knew what i want.

lies

2011-05-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

have you ever experience a moment in time when someone you really cared about or loved about would just lie to you right there in your face just so to make you guilty of what you did?

i had.

when i found out the truth about what they did to me,

i just couldn't believe what people had told me about them.

i never thought that they were such a person to lie to me because i had trusted them with all my heart and they choose to lie to me?

what have i ever done to ever be treated this way? dont you care about how i would have felt if you were ever to lie straight to my face?

because of these people i had lost a friend of mine.

she doesn't want to believe me anymore and i really dont know what to do with that.

but if she really choose to be that way. then i totally understand and i am truly sorry. i was just protecting you, i didn't mean you no harm.

i am just so tired of all these lies that you have told me.

i never once would thought that they would lie to me just so to make me feel guilty?

i am not 3 years old anymore.

dont forget that.

~~just stop.~~

its all the past

2011-05-15T01:06:00.000+08:00

i had the best time of my life :)

just awhile more

2011-05-08T18:36:00.000+08:00

last year, my birthday was the worst i could ever imagine , i would never thought that this year would be a better year then last year because i just simply Blessed. my mum and i now are really in good terms and we just don't fight as much as we do last time, she just understand me more better now.i am really glad that i have my mother back. everything is what i want :)

i have great bestfriends. i have a wonderful boyfriend that would do anything for me. i have my mama that loves me to death and finally i have Jesus always no matter what happens.

i just can't be more happier than i am now because just 2 more days from now. i will be celebrating my birthday with the people i love the most and care about :) and this year i will be my big "2" exactly 20 years old. i just can't imagine myself being 20. i pray that each year and everyday will be the most eventful of my life.

just awhile more. i will be 20 :)

cheers everyone :)

memories

2011-05-05T22:25:00.000+08:00

despite the many many many arguments that we have after

all this years we are still friends and i really appreciate that.

thank you for letting me into your life despite the many times

i disappoint you.

i missed you yen :)

i can't imagine myself without friends.

exactly 5 more days from now.

i will be having the time from my life :)

7 days

2011-05-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

7 more days and i can't wait.

kissing you

2011-05-01T21:25:00.001+08:00

Effects of Kissing:

Long kisses are beneficial to our circulatory system. When kissing, our pulse rate is quickening up to 110 beats per minute. This is a great training for our cardiovascular system.
After kissing, the lungs work harder, resulting in 60 inhales per minute compared to regular 20 inhales. Such “ventilation” is a good preventive measure against lung diseases.
Some dentists believe that kissing is a preventive measure against dental caries. Indeed, kissing stimulates the flow of saliva that eliminates acid coat on the teeth.
Kisses that last more than three minutes help us fight stress and its effects. Long kisses trigger the chain of biochemical reactions, which destroys stress hormones.
Those who kiss their partner goodbye each morning live five years longer than those who don’t.
Kissing is great for self-esteem. It makes you feel appreciated and helps your state of mind.
Kissing burns calories, 2-3 calories a minute and can double your metabolic rate. Research claims that three passionate kisses a day (at least lasting 20 seconds each) will cause you to loose an entire extra pound.
Kissing is a known stress-reliever. Passionate kissing relieves tension, reduces negative energy and produces a sense of well being, lowering your cortisol ‘stress’ hormone.
Kissing uses 30 facial muscles and it helps keep the facial muscles tight, preventing baggy cheeks! The tension in the muscles caused by a passionate kiss helps smooth the skin and increases the circulation.
Kissing is good for the heart, as it creates an adrenaline which causes your heart to pump more blood around your body. Frequent kissing has scientifically been proven to stabilize cardiovascular activity, decrease blood pressure and cholesterol.
Those who kiss quite frequently are less likely to suffer from stomach, bladder and blood infections.
During a kiss, natural antibiotics are secreted in the saliva. Also, the saliva contains a type of anesthetic that helps relieve pain.
Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the ‘noise’ in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace.

hey babu,

thank you for sticking with me despite that everything that has happen. i can't believe that i am with you since 9 months ago. sometimes you make me really mad and just wanna bite you but you still love me no matter all the hitting you get from me. i really love you but i just dont want to show, because i am so afraid of you leaving me :(

i know there had a been a lot of time you had ensure me a million times but still i am worried. i had given you all of me and yet you still understand me. thank you babu :) i love you so very much.

P.s: 9 days left babuuu! ahahaa! *wink wink*

i love kissing you *secret of mine*

smelling your face every morning.

thank you babu..

i will always appreciate you.

xoxo.

A simple note for you

You know what? Forget it. I’ve tried so hard to mend back our friendship but you don’t even care. You said like, oh I missed you so much and crap like that but you don’t even make an effort to do anything. I think I’ll just prefer to be like this. I don’t need you anymore in my life, unlike last time in primary school. Even some people think that we’re related, that’s how close we were last time. But now we don’t even talk. Sometimes a ‘hi’ or something. Bitch, please. Get out of my way. I’ve made my move and it’s your turn.

wash it away

2011-04-30T12:34:00.000+08:00

i went to club yesterday and it was the boom!

don't just say

2011-04-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

i went to class and i saw you sitting with another friend.
i said hi and you smiled.
i sat just right be hide you and you didn't even cared.
i saw a girl and i asked her to sit next to me and we mat friends.
i told you about her and you even smiled at her.
i don't know what i did wrong but you told me everything is okay.

Just so you said.

i wish i was there

2011-04-25T23:47:00.000+08:00

what we had was nothing.

u make me sick to my stomach

2011-04-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

i am in need a time to my own.

will be back soon.

it doesn't feel the same anymore

2011-04-07T00:02:00.000+08:00

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than
that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

i've tried so hard to put back the pieces that was broken between us. i mat you today and nothing ever change. you keep saying how much his change and his much better now. i dont fcukin care about him, all i want is to be friends with you and not care about who you date. i just can't do this anymore.

i am walking out on you. im sorry.

i passs it all!

2011-04-01T21:21:00.000+08:00

i am soo happy!

i pass all my subjects!

i was so nervous before i knew my results.

i couldn't eat properly, i keep thinking about my result like

what would it be because i messed up my Desktop but in the end i pass! :D

Thank you Father for making my dreams come true

i am so Blessed.

Scared

2011-03-31T20:45:00.000+08:00

My results are coming out tomorrow.

Im scared.

Pray for me

your pretty perfect for me babu :)

2011-03-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

baby, thank you for sticking by me.

last nite when we fake "break up" our relationship at FB made me actually

realise how much pain i was in before.

i never want to feel that way ever again babu.

please dont ever leave me.

just the other day i broke down to you.

and you swore that you will never leave me.

me too babu. me too.

what got i gotta do now?

i really want a make up from BENEFIT :)

but is so expansive.

i keep buying eyeliner but i never seem to use it.

ahaa! baby keep scolding me for buying unnecessary things :(

well sorry babu, its really addictive.

i love you so much.

MYOB

2011-03-29T21:47:00.000+08:00

i am fucking angry.

it makes me want to burn her house!

it makes want to pour acid to her fcuking face!

why must be bugging my life when i am not even part of her LIFE!

she is not even my FAMILY MAMBER!

she is just a fucking MAID!

a neighbours MAID!

did i ever say or do anything to you?

i never really talk to you and why must you be bothering

my life?

its up to me who ever i want to bring to the house!?!

its not your fucking business that you have to see what i do all the time?

why must you complain each time my Bf picks me up

from my OWN PERSONAL HOUSE ?!?!

why must you complain why my BF comes to MY OWN PERSONAL HOUSE?

did we ever made noise or did ever do something stupid?

if ever i had done those things then i would understand why would you

be angry with.

but i have NEVER DONE ANYTHING wrong with you.

i never bug in your personal life!

OMFG your just A MAID!

who the fuck are you to tell me or say to me?

and now you are telling me you want to complain to my mother?

well go AHEAD!

i am not scared of you!

see what will happen to you then.

see if you are still working in MALAYSIA or not.

if ever you destroy my relationship that i have now with my mother

you BETTER WATCH OUT!

YOU MAKE ME FUCKING SICK!

because of you bitch i argue with my BF!

fcuk off from my life okay bitch?!

i give it all away

2011-03-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

i thank you for everything.

but i am giving it all away.

understand? look at yourself.

2011-03-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

i'm tired of all of this.

jar of hearts

2011-03-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

* why does everything has to end up this way? *

tell me now. what am i suppose to think if you leave him this way? tell me what am i suppose to say if he really needs you? tell me what if he wants your hug? why do you ever have to leave him that way?

TELL ME.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO TELL HIM THE PERSON YOU ONCE LOVE AND CARED SO MUCH.

i dont know how to face you again.

i dont know how to tell you everything that is going on my mind.

i dont know how to let you know what i am thinking about you.

i miss the old you,

you told me that i have change towards you.

how could i not change when i am around you i feel

there is a distant between us.

i am scared and tired of all this.

sometimes i feel like i wanna forget about everything.

I really miss you as much as you miss me.

but think about it, and tell me what do i do now?

one day it will always end.

Someday

2011-03-23T20:35:00.000+08:00

I wish i could get wasted every night of my life so

i dont think about U.

i give up.

2011-03-21T21:40:00.000+08:00

Dear U,

i am tired of trying my best to be with you. Everything for you seems to be so easy on you and you make me feel like there is nothing wrong between u and i. ever since that day i could feel distance between us. i never want to say anything its all up to you. Don't say i was never here for you because you were always on my mind and i think about the times when it was just us. i find it there is no point of coming back to you all the time cause like i am a fool because no matter what i say or do it wouldn't make any difference.

U wouldn't want to look for me anymore. U only find me when u think that there is something wrong with us. other than that i am just a dust to you. fine i understand, you have your own life now and i wouldn't want to disturb you. i get it. but don't you ever think or how does it makes me feel? it makes me feel like as if, when you are bored or don't have anyone to hang around with you come looking for me but when you are busy you completely ignore me and don't even say "Hi". imagine yourself in my place. think about the times, have i ever leave u and not always have you by my side? i have nothing much to say to you anymore.

But whatever it is, i will always be here when you need me. Other than that. its up to you.

dont say i didnt warn you.

i will be here.

silly life

2011-03-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

baby C,

thank you for understanding me and holding up my anger each time

i burst at you.

thank you for always bringing me everywhere i want to go.

thank you for always making me laugh despite i always bully you =p

sometimes you do crazy things and make me burst at you

but no matter what you will always try your best to make me smile.

i admit i have this bad side of me.

Jealously is still my bestfriend.

no matter what, i will still feel angry or sad about nonsense matter.

you do know me so well. its been about 8 month now that you know and

1 month plus we are officially together.

you already know what i want to say or gonna do.

its so hard to get angry at you when you start being "loco loco"

"LAUGHING"

its scary baby! stop it okay! ish you..

i love you always very much.

baby C, someday this will be our bedroom

okay? ;) ahaaa!

see then our baby will be just with us too :)

could you be my bestfriend?

2011-03-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

why does this always happen to me?

i have always miss US when we get crazy.

All of my life I've been waiting,
For someone to trust,
Someone who cares,
Someone who I'll know will always be there.
Someone that would always tell me the truth,
Even when it's the hard thing to do.
Someone who always knows what to say
And when they don't,
They don't go away.
Someone who will always walk by my side through the hard times.
Could you be the one I want
(My best friend)
Could you be the one I need
(My best friend)
All of my life don't you know I've been waiting, For the best friend.
Could you be the one I want
(My best friend)

I thought you were my best friend
I felt we'd be together 'til the end
You're not the girl I once knew
Tell me where she is 'cause she's not you

You used to be that shoulder
That shoulder I could lean on through it all
But now it's getting colder
There's no love between these walls

maybe i need to get use to this.

it just takes time for me.

Good bye

2011-03-15T23:33:00.000+08:00

i had always been your 3rd best.

onion is a moon wrapped in brown paper it is a promises light like the careful undressing of love , it will blind you with tears like a lover it will make your reflection a wobbling photo grief . its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,possessive and faithful as we are for as long as we are .

On the first page of the story.

2011-03-14T21:15:00.000+08:00

Dear U,

i am feeling so lost now. i do not know what are we anymore.

On the first page of our story
the future seemed so bright
then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised
even angels have their wicked schemes
and you take that to new extremes
but you'll always be my hero
even though you've lost your mind

if only you were in my place, you will know what i mean.

you always say you miss me, but it doesn't make difference if i am near to you, it doesn't make any difference if i talk to you, it doesn't matter how far i am to you, i will still be forgotten. i am really lost. i do not what to say anything, but you had given me a wonderful experience to be friends with you. sometimes i really feel like that we were just friends because you just want somebody to hang out with, but that's it. nothing more than that. i do not know what you are thinking but this is how i feel. im sorry.

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

tell me.

what do i do?

i love you baby.

been missing you a lot lately.

tomorrow is our 1'st month anniversary.

hee.

can't wait to see you!

FINALS ARE FINALLY OVER =D

this is it

2011-03-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

I SHALL FAINT TOMORROW.

what's going on?

2011-03-12T17:46:00.000+08:00

Dear heavenly Father,

i pray that everything will be okay this coming Monday, because this Monday are my exams. This particular Monday i have 3 papers, but in the morning my papers are crashing. Both of the papers are exactly the same time. I do not know how i would manage myself to tell my lecturer about my problem. i emailed them but so far they haven't reply me and that worries me. i am scared and not sure what to do but i know you will plan something for me and i shall not worry about anything. i pray that my papers will fly with colours and nothing will stop me from worrying. i know that you will be here for me when i need you the most. thank you Father.

Amen.

there are many things going on, and it bothers me. i am worried and it bothers me. i am sad and it bothers me. i am always angry and it bothers me. i am scared and it bothers me. sometimes how i wish some how i wish i had the answer, but i don't.

i shall rest after this.

assignment? lazy much?

2011-03-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

how i wish i could do that...

hehe.

hey Baby C,

please dont worry so much about your family.

i pray that everything will be okay.

you la, so naughty!

this time dont screw it up okay.

i promise i will always be here for you.

i love you.